Author Topic: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"  (Read 1790 times)

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Offline b1rdland

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Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« on: March 16, 2019, 09:07:49 pm »
A work in progress I thought I'd share. I need another verse. The music is nearly there I think. Grateful for your feedback.

https://soundcloud.com/steve-cardus/one-last-embrace/s-7gQgx

One Last Embrace

You know that my arms are always open
Burn my dark dark days
Make some light
The sky will crackle with sprites
To illuminate one last embrace 
And my heart will be unbroken

Come back one day……
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Offline batwoman

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2019, 12:35:40 am »
Love the lyrics Steve, love them. After your spacious, minimal recent posts I'm craving that sound for this. I want space to feel the lyrics, time to submerge myself in them. There's something about the percussion that's too driving and insistent for me, except in the passages where it's just vocal and a simple hit.

Personal and perhaps not where you're going with this.

The lyrics oh the lyrics.

Offline oldhead49

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2019, 04:10:21 am »
You definitely have your own unique sound and it’s very intriguing, inviting and draws me in and keeps me listening because I know just around the  corner there’s a different unique sonic coming.  Really nice.


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Offline DavidP

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2019, 07:51:26 am »
Loving this song, Steve ...

The bass in the chorus.  The guitar leads and play in the instrumental.  The verse chord progression.  The use of panning to create width, making the song wide but still holding together.  The pulsating synth-sound in the outro. Lovely.

Look forward to the finished song when you complete the lyrics.

Offline b1rdland

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2019, 02:39:01 pm »
@batwoman @DavidP @oldhead49 Thank you all for having a listen   :D

Here's a new version: - https://soundcloud.com/steve-cardus/one-last-embrace-v2/s-LAhhF

One Last Embrace

You know that my arms are always open
Burn my dark days
Make some light
The sky will crackle with sprites
To illuminate one last embrace 
And my heart will be unbroken

One last embrace...

You know that deep down I'm always hoping
We'll meet again
When my time on earth is over
And while I wait
I'll hallucinate a father son embrace
I wish your heart could be unbroken

One last embrace.....

You know that my arms are always open
Burn my dark days
Make some light
The sky will crackle with sprites
To illuminate one last embrace 
And my heart will be unbroken

One last embrace....
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Offline DavidP

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2019, 06:58:58 pm »
Fulfilled all the promise in the working version, Steve.

ll I can add on my first set of comments is that I really enjoyed the outro and the way the final refrain was panned. 

And as it happened I listened to this through my AI on my best quality headphones.  That made the tones all the richer and the outro more nuanced.

Another top job.

Offline max_mue

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2019, 08:30:43 am »
wow, simply great! I'd add anything constructive if I weren't speechless ;D

Love the outro! And to quote Maggie:
Quote
The lyrics oh the lyrics.
"When is the right time for anything? Who knows? Living is an art, not a science."

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Offline b1rdland

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2019, 10:24:52 pm »
@DavidP @max_mue Thanks guys, I’m glad it sounds OK, still a couple of tiny changes I will make I think. I’m slightly off pitch here and there.
David, I find it frustrating the way things can sound very different depending on the tech and which headphones I’m using, it’s hard to get an all round good mix. The experienced guys seem to get it right mind you, so there’s a learning curve there (another!).
I think I’ll be having a songwriting break as it’s become an obsession and my guitar progress has come to a grinding halt over the past few months, so I won’t be posting much. I’ll obviously be checking in on the progress and performances on here though, looking forward to that!  ;D
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Offline embishop

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2019, 12:04:07 pm »
This song is magnificent. You really are an incredible songwriter, glad to be in the audience.
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Offline DavidP

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2019, 01:27:08 pm »
David, I find it frustrating the way things can sound very different depending on the tech and which headphones I’m using, it’s hard to get an all round good mix. The experienced guys seem to get it right mind you, so there’s a learning curve there (another!).
I think I’ll be having a songwriting break as it’s become an obsession and my guitar progress has come to a grinding halt over the past few months, so I won’t be posting much. I’ll obviously be checking in on the progress and performances on here though, looking forward to that!  ;D

Steve, you're right.  Being able to get the mix to sound good when somebody is listening in different ways is a big challenge.  The range is significant from ear buds, to phone/tablet speakers, PC speakers, HiFi speakers, car sound systems and headphones (which can range hugely in quality). 

I believe optimising these is an element of mastering once you have a good mix and certainly involves EQ tuning (maybe compression and other steps as well) across tracks and/or the master to find a sweet spot of best results across all or adjusting to render a final output for a specific distribution e.g. you might master differently for a CD, an mp3 download or streaming.

I understand you can buy (expensive) software suites that are purpose built to enable mastering.  But I am a long ways from spending 100s of USD on that level of gear :)

But I am no expert and now have taken to listening to my rendered song on the PC and if OK, again checking how it sounds once uploaded to SoundCloud.  And for the last step I listen on a couple of different devices. So a bit hit or miss in my case.

Will miss your originals and playing.  How about some covers that showcase the techniques you are learning as focus on guitar skills :)  Always want more  ;)

Offline b1rdland

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2019, 06:39:53 pm »
Steve, you're right.  Being able to get the mix to sound good when somebody is listening in different ways is a big challenge.  The range is significant from ear buds, to phone/tablet speakers, PC speakers, HiFi speakers, car sound systems and headphones (which can range hugely in quality). 

I believe optimising these is an element of mastering once you have a good mix and certainly involves EQ tuning (maybe compression and other steps as well) across tracks and/or the master to find a sweet spot of best results across all or adjusting to render a final output for a specific distribution e.g. you might master differently for a CD, an mp3 download or streaming.

I understand you can buy (expensive) software suites that are purpose built to enable mastering.  But I am a long ways from spending 100s of USD on that level of gear :)

But I am no expert and now have taken to listening to my rendered song on the PC and if OK, again checking how it sounds once uploaded to SoundCloud.  And for the last step I listen on a couple of different devices. So a bit hit or miss in my case.

Will miss your originals and playing.  How about some covers that showcase the techniques you are learning as focus on guitar skills :)  Always want more  ;)
David, I think your approach is pretty similar to my own on the final version of a rendered song. There is a mastering facility in Garageband which I've used only once for a dance tune I wrote, it gave the song a slightly punchier feel, I used a preset which didn't help me understand what I was doing TBH. For the album I simply got the track mixes as I wanted and listened on my 3 ( :o) sets of headphones and through a pretty good bluetooth speaker. It sounded OK, so I went with it as it was. I had tinkered a lot with each song sound wise previously, so most of the work that I had the skills to do was already done. 

Like you I don't envisage buying mastering software any time soon, I have Logix Pro X as well as Garageband and I bet there’s a pretty good mastering facility in that ( I may check one day  ;D) I think I’ll resurrect one of my old songs that has naff sound and experiment with it.

On the playing front, I won’t go down the covers route, it’s not my thing, although learning another jazz tune would be a good challenging project. What I think I will do is post some improvs as I try and get into stuff like modes and more challenging blues than I’m capable of now....oh and my rhythm playing is pretty basic so I'll be working on that too  :-\
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Offline b1rdland

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2019, 07:09:41 pm »
This song is magnificent. You really are an incredible songwriter, glad to be in the audience.
Wow Mari! I'm not sure I would ever describe myself as an "incredible songwriter", happy for you to think so though  ;D I'm really nothing special, I've written quite a few stinkers and a few good ones. I think my words have improved, but my playing has stagnated recently, so that's why I'm having a break to get back into trying to be a better player. What I do know is that we can all write if we put our minds to it, like I've said before, if I can do it, everyone on this forum can too.  There's some great talent on here and I am hoping that there will be some originals to enjoy this year. I know you're considering doing some writing, I hope you do!
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Offline Fox Cunning

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2019, 07:58:02 pm »
Way to turn emotion into music. A great song, high quality mix, lots of talent there.

Offline Cagn on Rocks

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2019, 09:04:04 pm »
Wow ! You are really talented man !
Your song is amazing, I love it.
I could picture backing vocals which could answer to "one last embrace", maybe on one part. This is just an idea like that, but maybe you think it will kill the atmosphere you are creating (that is the risk).
Anyway I love it already. I love your songs man, and you are really inspired lately they come very fast !! That's great.

 ;)

Offline b1rdland

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Re: Original Song - "One Last Embrace"
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2019, 10:45:12 am »

I could picture backing vocals which could answer to "one last embrace", maybe on one part. This is just an idea like that, but maybe you think it will kill the atmosphere you are creating (that is the risk).

 ;)
Hi Kev, thanks man! Your thinking was my thinking - I did begin toying with a response to "one last embrace", I got as far as a short melody, here's an example - https://soundcloud.com/steve-cardus/one-last-embrace-part/s-ujUP0
I tried playing the same on guitar, it didn't sit quite right with me so I binned it.
My album - https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/monochromeguitars/angel-heart-2
Gibson es335
Fender Telecaster Professional
Taylor GS Mini-e
The Big Trees > Orange PPC112

 

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