...............The big day has arrived...........
In this post I'm going to have to give you the big reveal as one of you guys is going to twig this really soon I reckon. And trust me it's a biggy. A real scandal up there with Watergate and Profumo where a pleasant evening takes a sudden dark twist into discussion of criminality, theft and a murky underworld with the only people party to the conversation being myself and Kate Stables out of This is The Kit (and my daughter as key witness).
The day starts warm and pleasant, I still had Hofners Syndrome but hadn't bought a bridge for several weeks, my wife and I were back on speaking terms, and things were looking up. July 12th 2017, a day forever etched on my memory. The new album "Moonshine Freeze" has been picking up rave 5* reviews in the music press and the record store promotional campaign seems to have been going well. Now, It's hard to say what configuration of "This is The Kit" is going to turn up at any given event as it is essentially a loose collective of musicians built up around the "talent", (and I mean that in both senses of the word !) Kate Stables. The previous day a youtuber had uploaded their phone camera video of the previous nights record store performance in Brighton.
So, i'm expecting to see Kate, Rozi on bass, some other guitar guy and The Kate Stables Hofner, as in said video....Kate performs "Moonshine Freeze" stood on a table....
It was late in the afternoon as me and my daughter got to Bristol and as Rise Records was at the top of Park Street in the trendy Clifton area of Bristol, parking was going to be at a premium. We decided to park some distance away, walk to Rise Records to suss out the location and then go and find something to eat. As it happened, we walked to Rise Records stuck our heads around the door and didn't see a record ! It turns out to be one of these sort of uber cool hangouts with a cafe downstairs, records, vintage clothing (or tat I would call it) upstairs.
As can be seen from the "my gig" video earlier in this thread, I am more of an age where a natty tweed waistcoat is the norm before retiring to the drawing room with a fine claret in a velveteen smoking jacket kind of guy. Rise Records is therefore not my usual type of haunt surrounded by youths that should probably have a job.
It's quite quiet downstairs as we were early and the bottom part of the room has been closed off for the performance, the front cafe part is still open so we decide to pull up a few barstools and eat in. It's quite interesting really as we can just about make out the stage from where we are sat and it looks like we are getting the full compliment of "This Is The Kit" judging by the amount of stuff on stage. This was a nice surprise but not unexpected as they are usually based in Bristol when not out touring.
Time marches on and the youths seem to be drifting off back into the evening, no doubt off to plan what particular crimes they are going to commit that night. A desk is placed right next to where we are sat. We're at the front of the queue ! which rapidly builds with a much more select type of clientele (thank god) . Many middle aged men are seen. I don't understand why though.

The room is quite dark with only the stage lit. I say stage but it's just a raised platform and 1ft at most. When we are let through my daughter and I amble coolly to the very front of the raised platform, i'd wanted to run, shrieking like a girl towards the stage of course but as I'm with my daughter it would have been a bit unseemly and embarrassing ! I was going to have to play this cool. The room is quite narrow and there are about 120-150 punters so I'm glad we got there early now, people at the back wouldn't be seeing much with that low stage. And then................
......... There it Was. My Holy Grail of guitars......The Kate Stables Hofner President in all it's glory . Looking back I picture it in my mind like an angel with a glowing halo surrounding it. Iridescent in a green sunburst finish calling me. My daughter couldn't see what the fuss was about.
And...........then suddenly.......
......... There SHE was. Kate Stables in all her glory. Looking back I picture it in my mind like an angel with a glowing halo surrounding her . Iridescent in a red top and black leggings calling me. She didn't have a sunburst finish. My daughter couldn't see what the fuss was about.
We had expertly positioned ourselves to the left of stage where Kate can be usually found so had ringside seats for the next 40 minutes or so basking in the full compliment of This Is The Kit. They really are terrific live ! I didn't know what to look at most...... Kate, Hofner, Hofner, Kate, Kate, Kate, Hofner for the full set, the others didn't get a look in. I did make a mental note of the amp she was using as I'd definitely be having to buy one of those the next day. An old solid state WEM by the looks of it. Ebay here we come.
And then it was all over in a blur.

The applause had died and the band were starting to pack up, the crowd were chatting amongst themselves. Kate Stables walked to the back of the stage and put The Kate Stables Hofner safely back on the rack. I was stood near the front of the stage and then she turns and walks directly back towards me, she's now stood right next to me !, my heart rate doubles, play it cool, you're with your daughter, don't make a bell end of yourself.......it was now or never....
"Hi Kate, great show" Not the greatest opening gambit I admit but she turns around and says hello . Sh1t I'm now in conversation with Kate Stables out of This is The Kit. Now what ? Perhaps I can impress by telling her about the number of bridges I have. I'm tongue tied.
Think, THINK ! Got it ! The Hofner, why didn't I think of this sooner, something we have in common.
"Kate, Nice guitar" again, as conversations go I wished the floor would open up there and then.
"How did you come by a green Hofner President ?" I ask. This throwaway line dropped in polite conversation is where the bombshell is truly dropped..........
" Oh, it's not a Hofner it's a Hobner, my dad bought it for me at a flea market ""WHAAAATTT !!!!!!Things had got confusing here. The conversation had turned to the very dodgy world of the lawsuit guitar !! We therefore had to conduct our conversation under hushed tones in case the European Court of Human Rights (or whoever) had the place bugged and we'd be instantly arrested and sent to a gulag somewhere.
We then went onto having a very pleasant chat about Givsons, Fendar Stelecasters, Yemahas and Ibanexes. A very pleasant lady indeed (and a bit of posh totty to boot). And then she was gone, off to do signings. I'd have to email her later about our impending marriage.
A Hobner ! I ask you ! After all that. I did think it a little strange that I'd never seen a picture of another green one !
A double edged sword though. My Hofners Syndrome had gone. That was good.
I now had Hobners Syndrome !
TBC.......