Author Topic: 005 2017 (June) Straddling Two Worlds (original)  (Read 2951 times)

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Offline Jeni17

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005 2017 (June) Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« on: June 16, 2017, 02:17:34 pm »
Hi Everyone,

Following my April entry I've been practising my rhythm as suggested by Justin.  I've written a new song, using the same strumming pattern as before but different chords.  I've kept it simple so I can concentrate on the even strumming and timing and I've hopefully made the vocals a bit louder.  Hope it's not too monotonous! 
Jeni

https://soundcloud.com/user-407653221/straddling-two-worlds
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 12:10:44 pm by close2u »

Offline DavidP

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2017, 04:19:28 pm »
Glad to have been able to help, Jeni  :)

I enjoyed your song.  Not too monotonous  :)

Your voice is certainly an asset.  I liked the almost jazzy sound of some of the chords you were using and the percussive hits on the strumming.  Rhythm seemed pretty steady.  If I can suggest anything to think about in terms of improving, it sounds to me like there is an ever so slight pause on some of the chord changes.  Have a listen and see if you hear the same ... if you do then I'd suggest One Minute Changes drill on the relevant chord changes, that will help you get a little faster.

Great effort ... grand to hear your music bursting free  :)

Oh yes, re your question on recording ... I am no expert, so may miss the mark.  I think instruments need to go through some pre-amp stage before going into the PC, which would explain the low level.  Depending on the technicalities of the mic you are using that is being taken care of. Have a look at the lessons here https://www.justinguitar.com/en/RT-000-RecordingTechniques.php for more information.

Cheers
David

Offline Jeni17

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2017, 08:57:37 am »
Thanks David,

You've been very helpful.
Jeni

Offline pkboo3

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2017, 08:11:16 pm »
Oh girl, I loved that! Great talent in several avenues - songwriting, vocals, and guitar skills. The lyrics hit home too. Wonder how many of us "budding" artists feel this way. In my case, I feel that some folks on this forum know me better concerning my "art" than people that know me personally. Few people have actually heard me sing and play (my own insecurities though). In a different art avenue, few people know I love to hoop dance. Anyway, great job!


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Offline Garfield

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2017, 01:21:39 pm »
hi jeni

i'm impressed with both of your original entries. this one was well played and sung. As pkboo has said I recognised the lyrics. 

G

Offline Jeni17

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2017, 08:06:01 am »
Thanks pkboo3 and Garfield.  I'm glad I'm not the only one!  Hoop dancing - sounds fun!
Jeni

Offline Fox Cunning

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2017, 09:04:25 am »
Very good all around, Jeni.
The ending is a bit abrupt, but maybe that's intentional (after all I love the famously sudden ending of "I want you (she's so heavy)" :D).
Keep writing songs, please, you have talent!

Offline Jeni17

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2017, 10:08:50 am »
Thanks Fox,

It was more a case of "I have to work on my endings" but I have just listened to She's so heavy.  I've not heard that song before - don't know where I've been all my life! I like it.
Jeni

Offline Fox Cunning

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2017, 10:32:14 am »
I have just listened to She's so heavy.  I've not heard that song before - don't know where I've been all my life! I like it.
I'm not a huge Beatles fan, but that one song really pleases my ears :) Glad you found it and liked it, maybe it will provide some inspiration.

Offline kontenda

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2017, 11:29:44 am »
Nice original song Jeni. This would be my ultimate goal - to write my own song. Well done - nice melody - good chorus - and you keep the rhythm very well - nice palm muting.

Offline Jeni17

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2017, 02:30:59 pm »
Nice original song Jeni. This would be my ultimate goal - to write my own song. Well done - nice melody - good chorus - and you keep the rhythm very well - nice palm muting.
Thanks Kontenda, re writing - just have a go.  Don't worry too much about whether it makes sense or where the third verse is.  Starting is the hardest part but once you get going it might flow.  Good Luck!
Jeni

Offline john256

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2017, 05:32:15 pm »
Wow, that's the best thing I've heard in this contest series so far. Lovely.

Offline close2u

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2017, 11:42:04 am »
If you've been practicing your rhythm chops Jeni - wow, it is really paying off.
You gave a rock-solid backbone accompaniment to what was a lovely vocal performance.
Really good.
I liked that.
 :)

Offline Jeni17

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2017, 02:08:25 pm »
Close 2U I'm so glad you said that.  I was beginning to feel as though my right arm was worthy of an old sailor.  I have new respect for rhythm guitarists I can tell you.
Jeni

Offline Jeni17

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Re: 005 June Straddling Two Worlds (original)
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2017, 02:10:25 pm »
Thank you very much John and Kontenda I forgot to mention this particular song came to me in the middle of the night so keep a notebook and pen by the bed.
Jeni

 

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