Author Topic: Reaper's On My Shoulder  (Read 1474 times)

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Offline tobyjenner

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Reaper's On My Shoulder
« on: January 20, 2016, 11:30:15 pm »
Not sure what's been going on over the last year but I get these lyrics coming out of nowhere and now some tunes. I've been writing a few down, created a base line progression for one and I'm just about finished with a melody for another but using Reaper's Midi keyboard for the first time so its slow progress.

Anyway I was on the treadmill today, with a usual up beat hard rock playlist to keep me going. A few tracks made me start thinking about recent events and the artist that have passed in the last few weeks. As a nearly 60 year old, its a reminder of my own mortality. But as I was running listening to ACDC You Cant Stop Rock n Roll, Iron Maiden's Running Free and before Motorhead Going To Brazil kicked in, these lyrics/poem (hey ramblings of a madman!) started to metabolize, so I had to get it down.

Thought I'd share it and see what folks think....................like don't give up the day job but I've already done that :)

Reapers on my shoulder
Sun is on my back
But I’m gonna keep on running
To hold the Reaper back

The Maiden boys are Running Free
As I pound along at will
Gotta ghost to keep me going
Lemmy’s Going To Brazil

The Reapers screaming louder now
But I can’t hear the words
As I run with Lynyrd Skynyrd
Like a Free and Southern Bird

The music keeps me going
And feeds my very soul
So the  Reapers going to have to wait
Coz I love my Rock n Roll

The Reapers on my shoulder
He taking all my friends
My heroes to, of yesteryear
Oh where will it all end.

Still old enough to rock n roll
So not too young to die
Guess I’ll keep the Reaper  waiting
Not bid to you goodbye

I know he’ll come a knocking
To take my aging soul
But take you time dear Reaper
And let the good times roll

Reapers on my shoulder
Or is he in my head
Gonna keep on rocking
Until I’m stone cold dead
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Offline shadowscott007

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2016, 12:03:55 am »
I like it.  Reaper's on my shoulder is a good hook...

Some very nice lines in there.

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Offline mike42

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2016, 12:05:52 am »
Looks like you've been bit by the writing bug, Toby. Some good stuff in this one. Come up with a catchy guitar hook and I think it's got potential.

A few lines here and there that may benefit from some tweaking, but that's the approach I normally take with my lyrics. If I get stuck on a line, I try to find *something* that will fit so I don't kill the inspiration. I normally just make a note next to the line and come back later to work out the details.

One thing I will say is that this piece works very well as a poem, but in my experience that doesn't always translate to a good song (assuming you're looking to turn it into a song). I tend to gravitate towards a consistent meter and rhyme scheme, but when it comes to developing a song that consistency often makes my songs a bit too repetitive.

Regardless, you've got some great lines in there that could serve as a basis for a song, and you could change/write some other parts (chorus, bridge, etc.) that break up the consistency once you get a scratch guitar/drum part (or something similar) to build on.

Definitely keep working on this one! I'm looking forward to hearing a rocking tune  8)

Offline TB-AV

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2016, 01:50:19 am »
Needs a chorus but otherwise it seems to work pretty good.
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Offline KasperFauerby

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2016, 08:00:09 am »
Some good stuff in there, could easily see this kind of stuff as lyrics for a rock song! I would probably use two "blocks" per verse, so there is material for 4 verses here. You should then probably look for a chorus, keeping things a bit simpler there with something catchy. Something that can be repeated ;) With this in mind there might be a bit too much verse material, but I guess that's a luxury problem. Maybe some of the lines could also be used as a bridge..

Offline Constantin

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2016, 10:31:55 am »
I like it! I've no experience with writing poems or music, but I like it. A lot of soul and feeling in it, and it shows. Rock on!

Online stitch101

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2016, 05:46:40 pm »
Good stuff Toby  8)

Love this line it sums up a lot of us.

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Offline tobyjenner

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2016, 09:00:29 pm »
Thanks for the positive feed back guys and yes it's a definite hard rock project and not just a poem.

The original plan was to have the first 'verse' as a chorus, then I came up with the take for the final version. But when I put the chorus in after every verse it looked too repetitive, as did some of the words, so I like the idea of doubling them up to spread it out. So yes it will need a tweak or two.

Reapers on my shoulder
Sun is on my back
But I’m gonna keep on running
To hold the Reaper back

Reapers on my shoulder
Or is he in my head
Gonna keep on rocking
Until I’m stone cold dead

I'm kinda thinking some of the band and song references may be a bit naff (jury's out for now) but there's quite a few titles on that playlist I was using to fill in the gaps but sticking with the underlying theme, ie the last two line above and as long as possible  ;D

Already had an idea for the music but it was starting to conflict with the other melody I'm working on, so best to back off for now, before I lose the thread. But its gonna be in the pumping 85/170 or 90/180 bpm area, as if nothing else I'll have my own personal workout track.

Once I've developed it I'll tag it on to see what you think.

Again thanks for the feedback and support.

Toby
 8)
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Offline mike42

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2016, 02:06:16 am »
I think the references can work if you approach it in the right way. I can think of a couple songs off the top of my head that use multiple band references.. "I Like It Heavy" and "American Boys," both by Halestorm.

I like the sections that you quoted, and I think that would be a good candidate for a chorus. However, the one thing that sticks out to me there is the repetition of the word "reaper."

Personally, I would probably change the word reaper in the line "to hold the reaper back." I'm thinking "darkness" might fit. Or changing the whole line to "never let him attack" or something along those lines. But that is just my personal opinion, so everyone else may disagree completely.

Again, I'm looking forward to hearing what you come up with!

Offline tobyjenner

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2016, 03:32:20 pm »
I think the references can work if you approach it in the right way. I can think of a couple songs off the top of my head that use multiple band references.. "I Like It Heavy" and "American Boys," both by Halestorm.


Yeah still not sure but feel I've a good starting point. Funny you should mention Lizzie and the boys, as "I Get Off" was on that playlist.  :)

Going to focus on that melody of mine for now but had two new streams pop into my head this morning, just don't know where its coming from - PTSD/Homeless Vets thing and The Devil Loves To Rock!! But I ain't complaining, as it makes retirement fun.  8)
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Offline Hollywood

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Re: Reaper's On My Shoulder
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2016, 03:21:54 pm »
I'm kinda thinking some of the band and song references may be a bit naff (jury's out for now) but there's quite a few titles on that playlist I was using to fill in the gaps but sticking with the underlying theme, ie the last two line above and as long as possible  ;D

Ah, that explains it. :)  I can't add much to this thread except that the lyrics definitely sound like it'd be a cool rock song!  Looking forward to hearing the music side of it!


..but had two new streams pop into my head this morning, just don't know where its coming from - PTSD/Homeless Vets thing and The Devil Loves To Rock!! But I ain't complaining, as it makes retirement fun.  8)

Hahaha exactly. :)  Sometimes I'm not sure I can even say I *wrote* something because it honestly just wrote itself.
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