Not bad writing at all; it's not too literal.
It's a long song...I think you have two rudimental options:
Start scrapping a lot of lines and repeating some lines for "hooks"
or
you go "grand storytelling" and make it into a real opus as your text is now.
But then you need more evolution though.
I know that the song is about the blues of being in one spot too long but I need the mind of the character to be more dynamic, erratically reaching out, swining elbows around him.
That way the dissonance of the physical and mental brings a bit more tension and friction
You are describing the same state the whole song.
There is no storyline of what brought the main character to that point nor is there an evolution of what happens in the present or perhaps future. Was he always like this? was it nicer before? a contrast could empowerboth the before and after.
The listeners hope arise when you mention a map but no mental quest follows.
It even feelsl ike the main character doesn't even leave the room, not even with his mind.
- what brought him there? what is the evolution of before, now and the path in between?
- what does the character do now to turn it around? Besides time ticking on, wjhat happens around him. If he doesn't change, what changes in his surroundings?
If you really want the whole bottom line being mentally and perhaps phisically immobile..the song could behave itself like maelstrom in a glass of water. The song begins wild, chatoic, almost out of control but still with a certain pattern..while it slows and clams down in a serene fashion untill it goes slow, silent and stops. It would be a fresh approach as most songs work the other way around

you might conclude out of this little essay that I think your writing style is ok but that the song itself is too much of the same.