Author Topic: Help required..(melody & chords)  (Read 8993 times)

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Offline diademgrove

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Help required..(melody & chords)
« on: June 24, 2013, 08:52:27 am »
Yesterday in a mad rush I wrote some lyrics. I haven't time to think about working out a melody/chord structure and thought it would be great if somebody took them away and finished the job. There are no rules. Just take the words away, change them if you like, add new ones and put them to music. Please let me know if you start work on them and make sure you post the results.

The lyrics have no title. I did think about "Lyrics with no words", but it doesn't seem appropriate.

Anyway, enough rambling, here are the words:

I hear the red sky in the rain
I feel the rainbow in the wind
I see the thunder in the trees
My true love rides the breeze

I hear the paint on the wall
I feel the air of centuries past
I see the east wind on my face
My true love sleeps in grace

The man in the suit
Says he's tough
Little John in reverse
Slips money from her purse
Yes, that's right
Oh, so tough

I hear the moan in the breeze
I feel the heat in the rain
I see his head in her hand
Yes, she's my one true love..............
my one true love

I know, they're pretty weird. They mean something to me, but please don't ask what, I'd rather see what you make of them.

Good luck,

diadem

« Last Edit: July 17, 2013, 09:28:40 pm by LievenDV »

Offline frances

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2013, 05:20:47 am »
Hi Diadem,
You seem like someone willing to put up with me being weird so.... i think i'll fake an acoustic and do something pretty  ???
but I think i may have something for you. It may need to be lengthened, and i could really go for an alternate pattern on the second part... sort of a rough draft... but it's an idea. 
81 bpm,
the chord progression is dm A# A,
repeat 4 times, gm,
dm....
gm,F,gm,Bb,A
dm,Eb,F,dm,
dm,Eb,F,gm.

sorry everybody for the static and stuff, i just got reaper and don't know how to use it
(new stuff!yeah! ;D)
https://soundcloud.com/user4528050/cynestasia

anybody got vocals on this?
« Last Edit: July 03, 2013, 06:28:05 pm by frances »
I spend a lot of time in bed eating crackers, this tells you much about both my character and learning ability.

Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2013, 05:57:14 pm »
Hi Frances,

I'm really pleased you've taken the time to add something to my lyrics. I like the feel of the music as well. You may be amazed but after finishing Samba I started messing about with some chords for the first line and a sort of melody line. I ended up with one bar each of Dm E Gm7 and Am, not a million miles away from your progression. The words over the Dm, E and Am sort of fit but I can't get the jump from "the" to "red sky" to sound ok. "The" comes at the end of E and "red sky" during Gm.

Unfortunately I like the way the chords sound. I haven't really thought about the second line or the refrain, my true love etc. It may be easier using A# and A.

I'll put a short version up on Saturday and see what you think. If I'm brave I'll add my vocal. I'll also put up a version with your chord structure to see what you think.

It would be great if we our ideas to work together. 

As to the bridge about the man in the suit and the last verse I was thinking of a change to a major scale. In between a mass of noise, think A Day in the Life by the Beatles, or bits of Revolution No 9.

Yes, you're right, I'm weird, how do you fancy trying to pull off a joint song?

Thanks again, it's appreciated,

diadem

Offline frances

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2013, 09:29:15 pm »
Cool,  I'll talk to you then. :D
I spend a lot of time in bed eating crackers, this tells you much about both my character and learning ability.

Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2013, 10:54:47 pm »
Cool,  I'll talk to you then. :D

I'll post something this weekend. I had a short run through and feel a bar of 2/4 at the end of the line works slightly better. I'd end up with a bar of 4/4 and a bar of 2/4 on the Am. Let me know if this causes a problem.

Fingers crossed it'll work.


Offline frances

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2013, 02:03:30 am »



I'll post something this weekend. I had a short run through and feel a bar of 2/4 at the end of the line works slightly better. I'd end up with a bar of 4/4 and a bar of 2/4 on the Am. Let me know if this causes a problem.

Fingers crossed it'll work.




I'm not really sure what you mean. I think I'll just have to hear it. 
I spend a lot of time in bed eating crackers, this tells you much about both my character and learning ability.

Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2013, 07:30:06 am »



I'll post something this weekend. I had a short run through and feel a bar of 2/4 at the end of the line works slightly better. I'd end up with a bar of 4/4 and a bar of 2/4 on the Am. Let me know if this causes a problem.

Fingers crossed it'll work.




I'm not really sure what you mean. I think I'll just have to hear it.

Don't worry, I sometimes have trouble explaining myself. The count of the beats are in the brackets. It should be clearer when you hear the demo.

Dm (1234) E (1234) Gm (1234) Am (1234)(12) back to Dm etc.

I had a mess with a melody on Cubase as well. I may put that up as well.


Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2013, 07:56:41 pm »
Frances,

I forgot to add, we now have a title, I like Cynestastia.

diadem

Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2013, 09:52:55 pm »
Well Frances, the weather was nice and I managed to find time to put my ideas onto tape, well, into the computer.

The chords are Dm A# A Gm (1 bar 4/4, I bar 2/4, basically 6 beats) Dm E Gm7 Am (1 bar 4/4, I bar 2/4) x 2 At the end of the verse I've put C Am C Am (1 bar each) and repeated the first verse.

I've added your guitar for an introduction and over the first line of the song to see how it sounds, I like it. I've panned my guitar and your guitar so its easier to hear. I see the electric guitar over all the chords with maybe something different over the C Am interlude.

At the end of the last Am I envisage chaos ending on a C7 chord and into the bridge in F and the last verse in D major. Of course, this is open for discussion.

Hope you think we have something, if you do I'll record a better version of the acoustic guitar and make it available for download. I don't hear any drums or bass in the first two verses, do you?

diadem

https://soundcloud.com/diademgrove/cynestasia-demo-1/s-gRXlN

Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2013, 03:34:01 pm »
Hi Frances,

I have recorded a draft structure for the full song. I have put everything in the comments as to chords, timing etc. The weird break could be long or shorter.

If you don't think the last sections work we can alter them. I see them being mostly electric guitar with bass and drums.

diadem

https://soundcloud.com/diademgrove/cynestasia-demo-2/s-YmxU5


Offline frances

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2013, 05:34:03 pm »
yay, thanks.

you were thinking the arpeggiated part over the chords, yes? I've got a little lick that can go on the Bb. a similar sound to the intro may take a few days to train in.  i am so busting out the electric violin today(justfor fun, don't go expecting stuff,i play like twice a year,) will have to see how the lyrics go with the music...and yeah i think if there were drums in the first half they'd have to be quite restrained. this is a lot of stuff to think about.... start with fitting the lyrics to the music. ok, given one verse per repetition of the chord progression with the c and am part not having the lryics on it... i think we should change it up for the story part, then bridge, then last verse. or maybe a rhythm variation could do it, i'm a bit wary of depending on a lot of decoration to keep things interesting. 


I spend a lot of time in bed eating crackers, this tells you much about both my character and learning ability.

Offline PattheBunny

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2013, 06:18:16 pm »
Okay guys I don't know alot but if I were to approach this the first thing I'd like to know is what key it's in.   Because I can't hear a tonal center.   

Pat
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Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2013, 06:25:52 pm »
Okay guys I don't know alot but if I were to approach this the first thing I'd like to know is what key it's in.   Because I can't hear a tonal center.   

Pat

Hi Pat,

I would say the key is Dm for the acoustic first part, D major for the bridge and finally F for the last verse, with a few passing chords for good measure. The shift from D to F sounds like a step and half move up, rather than a shift down. Unfortunately I can't play barre chords that high up the neck on my acoustic.

Hope this helps.

diadem

Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2013, 06:52:40 pm »
yay, thanks.

you were thinking the arpeggiated part over the chords, yes? I've got a little lick that can go on the Bb. a similar sound to the intro may take a few days to train in.  i am so busting out the electric violin today(justfor fun, don't go expecting stuff,i play like twice a year,) will have to see how the lyrics go with the music...and yeah i think if there were drums in the first half they'd have to be quite restrained. this is a lot of stuff to think about.... start with fitting the lyrics to the music. ok, given one verse per repetition of the chord progression with the c and am part not having the lryics on it... i think we should change it up for the story part, then bridge, then last verse. or maybe a rhythm variation could do it, i'm a bit wary of depending on a lot of decoration to keep things interesting.

Hi Frances,

I was thinking of the arpeggio part lasting until the wild noisy break, with my guitar acting as support. If you're not sure about the C Am progression we can take it out. Apart from making it easier for me to play I'm not sure what it adds, if anything. The two beat bar could act as the turnaround as in the verse.

As I explained to Pat I want to see the F played as an A barre chord shape on electric rather than an F shape as my acoustic version. This way the music fits in with the way the lyrics go in my head. The reason I don't want to explain what the lyrics mean is simple. The more the song reflects my vision the less of a collaboration it feels to me. Your chord progression is great and if you have other ideas please keep putting them forward.

I don't hear very much decoration at all, unless you mean the key modulation.

I hope the electric violin can go in the wild instrumental part as well, even if it doesn't come out very often.

The problem for me is my singing. Whilst I'm getting better and it'll sound reasonable over the chords it'll rely on good luck. There will be no worked out idea of what the notes are, or what alternatives are available. Just getting them to sound ok against the chord is a major achievement.

I agree no drums. I do hear martial drums for the bridge and last verse to reflect the change in tempo.

I hope I'm not putting you off. I'm getting quite excited about where the song could end up.

diadem

 

Offline diademgrove

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Re: Help required.....
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2013, 08:27:43 pm »
I have thought about the progression a bit more. I may be over elaborating and making the song more complicated than it need be. Tomorrow I will put three more demo versions up.

One will be in Dm throughout. the other will modulate into D for the last verse. One of the D versions will include Bb, I hate hard work go to waste. But the chord change from D to Bb sounds really familiar, which may be a problem. I don't really want to steal somebody else's work.

diadem

 

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