Author Topic: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread  (Read 5043 times)

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Offline digger72

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #30 on: June 21, 2011, 06:46:48 pm »
Hi Rainwoman,

I like those new lyrics. They've got a nice surreal quality to them. I like the vulnerability, yet inner strength that's portrayed. It's refreshing to see lyrics put together which have no obvious rhyme, and nor need they. I think you should think outside the box a little when coming up with a tune. Experiment with sound and phrasing. I don't know what type of music you like, but dig out the strangest you can think of and start building your song from there.

Good luck, and if i can help in anyway just give me a PM and I'll do what I can.

All the best,

Digger

Offline rainwoman

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #31 on: June 21, 2011, 11:12:18 pm »
Hi Digger and thanks!
I'm glad to hear you like my lyrics. Being honest, I had mixed feelings about it shortly after I put it here, but then started to like it more and more and now I know I'd like to make it a complete song. I've gotten some idea for a tune when heard some other song today, but not I'm not really bound to that concept. Anyway, I think I'd like to have both, some strong hits as well as some more delicate notes in it.  
My problem is that I can write some lyrics and can create some even quite nice pieces of a melody, but separately.However when comes to make a tune to ready lyrics, I feel stuck.
 
...so any help in this matter, ideas, collaborative share more than appreciated  :)

Btw, I'd like to ask you - how did you make that duet with yourself in your last song? Did you recorded a song and a vocal at once and then recorded the second vocal and overlapped? Or everything was recorded separately? What kind of software do you use?

Btw2:
...but dig out the strangest you can think of and start building your song from there.
So now I know why you are Digger  ;)
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Offline digger72

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #32 on: June 22, 2011, 05:27:59 pm »
Hi Rainwoman,

I use Ableton on my Pc for recording, so just recorded the main vocal track, then the harmony vocal after. I struggle to sing and play at the same time. I watched Justin doing a song called "Neon" last night on his broadcast - how he can play and sing like that, straight off the bat, I'll never know. Awesome.

If you're happy with a particular tune record that on it's own without any vocal. Then take your lyrics and just sing them in as many ways as you can over the track till you find something you like - it doesn't really matter if you get the words wrong - i usually just use random words till I find a melody which fits over my basic guitar track.

You may need to chop and change a few words later, but really it's about finding the melody first of all.

If you get chance, and you haven't already heard it, look up the album "Bring It On" by Gomez. It's one of the best albums ever, to my mind. The songs are all a little off the beaten track. They may well inspire you.

By the way, I've finished (i think) that happy song I was on about. Will post soon. It's got a Primal Scream sort of feel.

All the best,

Digger

Offline rainwoman

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #33 on: June 23, 2011, 06:40:15 pm »
Hi Digger

If you're happy with a particular tune record that on it's own without any vocal. Then take your lyrics and just sing them in as many ways as you can over the track till you find something you like - it doesn't really matter if you get the words wrong - i usually just use random words till I find a melody which fits over my basic guitar track.
Thanks a lot for the advice. It seems to be really useful. I'm trying to follow it, we'll see.... :)

If you get chance, and you haven't already heard it, look up the album "Bring It On" by Gomez. It's one of the best albums ever, to my mind. The songs are all a little off the beaten track. They may well inspire you.
I've never heard of them before, but after listening to a few songs, I can say, I liked them. And indeed, some fragments were inspirational while thinking about my own song. I'm only afraid my skills are not sufficient to put everything what is in my mind into practice. Anyway, right now I'm just messing with a guitar trying to find out that good idea for the song. Hopefully I'll will have something to show out soon. 

I watched Justin doing a song called "Neon" last night on his broadcast - how he can play and sing like that, straight off the bat, I'll never know. Awesome.
I saw that, too. Great indeed :)

By the way, I've finished (i think) that happy song I was on about. Will post soon. It's got a Primal Scream sort of feel.
I'm looking forward it! :)

Cheers!
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." A. de Saint-Exupéry

Offline rainwoman

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #34 on: June 24, 2011, 05:45:26 pm »
Another lyrics... It's getting incurable, really ;D It seems words come much easier to me than notes.

So I've been sitting in an almost empty room, waiting for a courier to take all my things packed back to my home country. It's raining hard outside, and for the lack of other things to do (I can't even play guitar, it's already packed and waits to be taken, as well)  i started to think of my own rain song. And here it is:

Rain song

It is raining, raining hard.
In a quiet, cosy room,
From a pack of playing cards
I am building peace of soul.

     Rainy day, rainy me,
     Empty streets,
     Flowing drops, streaming thoughts,
     Drifting free.

Then I’m walking in the rain.
In a tiny roadside puddle,
Under surface, just below,
See my hidden secret world.

     Rainy day, rainy me…

Getting soggy more and more,
I am sailing on a leaf   
Through the quiet puddle’s waters,
Pushed by gentle summer breeze.   

     Rainy day, rainy me…

It is raining less and less,
All my worries fled apart.
Rests of raindrops on my cheeks
Find their way to chill the heart.

     Rainy day, rainy me…


As always, any opinions, suggestions or any other input more than welcomed. Thanks for taking time.  :)
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." A. de Saint-Exupéry

Offline PattheBunny

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #35 on: June 26, 2011, 03:32:09 pm »
Hi Rain

Some quick notes.  Hope there's something in them you can use.

It is raining, raining hard.
In a quiet, cosy room,
From a pack of playing cards
I am building peace of soul.

It sounds like you are building a house of cards.  If you are playing solitaire, then I would say something like "from a pack of playing cards I am dealing my soul peace."   When you hear it, the word "piece" and the word "peace" sound alike,  you don't want people to think you mean "piece of soul" unless you do???

     Rainy day, rainy me,
     Empty streets,
     Flowing drops, streaming thoughts,
     Drifting free.


Raindrops don't really flow, they hit one by one, even very quickly.  Once they join into groups on the ground the rain flows, but not the drops.  So I would say "Flowing rain".   And for the thoughts, I would say streaming has a kind of internet feel to the word, as in "streaming videos."   So you might want to find find another word or repeat the word "flowing".  Flowing rain, flowing thoughts.  Repeating the word "rain" can be like making little raindrops in the verse, you know?  Not a bad thing.[/b]


Then I’m walking in the rain.
In a tiny roadside puddle,
Under surface, just below,
See my hidden secret world.

 I like this idea, but the line "under surface, just below" sounds unnatural to me.  You would use a word like "underneath" in English I think.  Could be wrong.  Still "underneath, just below" feels more natural to my ear.

     Rainy day, rainy me…

Getting soggy more and more,
I am sailing on a leaf   
Through the quiet puddle’s waters,
Pushed by gentle summer breeze.   

"getting soggy" as applied to a person is unusual.  More used terms would be "soaked" or "wet"  And instead of saying "more and more" you might say "Getting wetter and wetter."  

     Rainy day, rainy me…

It is raining less and less,
All my worries fled apart.
Rests of raindrops on my cheeks
Find their way to chill the heart.

I like this verse.  But worries don't 'flee apart" so much as they "disappear" or "fall apart".   Or even run away.  Or flee, but not apart.  Maybe they flee from each other.  And "rests of raindrops"  I don't understand.  Do you mean "remnants" or "bits" of raindrops?  

When you say "chill the heart if your meaning is "soothe" as in, "Chill out, babe," then maybe try the word " soothe" .



I think this might be my favorite.

Why no music?

Pat

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Offline TB-AV

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #36 on: June 26, 2011, 04:05:47 pm »
Pat I have to disagree with you a little on this one.

Rainwoman, this is a nice song but again I think in places you tell us exactly what is happening rather than paint a picture.

How does this strike you.....

My tears flow like the rain --  now we know there is sadness and maybe it's raining
In a quiet, cozy room. -- we know where you are so if it's raining you are seeing it trough a window or door
With a deck of cards --- you must be sitting at a table
I am building peace of soul. --- you have decided to take control of your life ( from a storm? ). Unlike Pat, I really like this line. It draws me in.

     Rainy day, rainy me,   --- now we know it is raining for sure and you are sad.
     Empty streets, -- do you want this line here? Remember we are still in your room
     Flowing drops, streaming thoughts, -- Can you sum them up into one thought? We already know it's raining
     Drifting free. -- Fine, but other means to describe no obstacles?

EDIT: Rainy day, rainy me
------ flowing thoughts,
-------Drifting free




Then I’m walking in the rain. -- ok, now you are outside. Maybe talk about the streets here? Again we already know it's raining.

On the empty grey cobblestone street
In a tiny reflecting pool,
Under the surface, just below,
I see my hidden secret world.

It seems to suggest you see your life on the surface as others might as well, but as you look at it you are also able to discern it's depth that is perhaps a different life others do not know.

Etc, Etc.

« Last Edit: June 26, 2011, 04:48:06 pm by TB-AV »
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Offline PattheBunny

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #37 on: June 26, 2011, 04:08:31 pm »
Is that a disagreement?  Wow.  I thought it was just a different way of seeing it. :)

It's a really nice mood piece, isn't it?  I love the rain.

Pat
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Offline TB-AV

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #38 on: June 26, 2011, 04:38:11 pm »
Quote
Is that a disagreement?  Wow.  I thought it was just a different way of seeing it. Smiley

Sorry I hit the wrong key and the thing got posted before I was finished with my thoughts.

Perhaps it makes more sense now. But to answer your question though. Yes, we see it a different way and these two ways dis-agree with each other. I didn't say I was right and you are wrong. Not sure what the problem is.

EDIT:
Quote
It's a really nice mood piece, isn't it?

It has the makings of one, yes.
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Offline rainwoman

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #39 on: June 26, 2011, 05:49:08 pm »
Pat and TB, thank you guys for dropping in at here and helping me. I appreciate it very much. One good thing about this forum is that, besides getting music-related knowledge, I can improve my English, get feeling of words. I'm extremely grateful for your input. :)


It's a really nice mood piece, isn't it?  I love the rain.
It is, indeed. I love the rain, too.  :)
But now, thank of you TB, I see the meaning of the song could be different just by changing a few lines. Maybe next time, then ;)

Quote
It sounds like you are building a house of cards.  
That's exactly what it means. It's actually a part of a short poem I wrote a long time ago (it sounds better in my native language, though ;)):

In a loneliness
From a pack of cards
I am building peace of my soul


The meaning: my soul peace was as labile like a house of cards, and I was able to get that internal peace only while being alone, not disturbed by anyone or anything... It's the same with the rain here, it brings calming.

Quote
When you hear it, the word "piece" and the word "peace" sound alike,  you don't want people to think you mean "piece of soul" unless you do???
LOL, I'll think about it yet. For now just made only a small change: "in soul" instead of "of soul".
[/quote]

Quote
I think this might be my favorite.
Why no music?
Thanks Pat. :)
I don't have a guitar. It's already traveled to another country, I'm gonna join it in a few days.

With a deck of cards --- you must be sitting at a table
I am building peace of soul. --- you have decided to take control of your life ( from a storm? ). Unlike Pat, I really like this line. It draws me in.
I've already explained that.

Quote
It seems to suggest you see your life on the surface as others might as well, but as you look at it you are also able to discern it's depth that is perhaps a different life others do not know.
These verses 2 and 3, about another world and sailing on a leaf are a projection of a kind of a carefree dreaming, the way the rain makes me feel. That secret world in a puddle is again some earlier idea, taken from a story for children I wrote a few years ago.  


So I've done some changes to the lyrics (below) and I hope, thank of you, it looks better now.

Cheers! :)


Rain song

It is raining, raining hard.
In a quiet, cosy room,
From a pack of playing cards
I’m I am building peace in of soul

     Rainy day, rainy me,
     Empty streets,
     Falling Flowing drops, flowing streaming thoughts,
     Drifting free.

Then I’m walking in the rain.
In a tiny roadside puddle,
Underneath Under surface, just below,
See my hidden secret world.

     Rainy day, rainy me…

Getting wet soggy more and more,
I am sailing on a leaf   
Through the quiet puddle’s waters,
Pushed by gentle summer breeze.   

     Rainy day, rainy me…

It is raining less and less,
All my worries fell fled apart,
And last Rests of raindrops on my cheeks
Find their way to sooth chill the heart.

     Rainy day, rainy me…
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." A. de Saint-Exupéry

Offline rainwoman

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #40 on: June 26, 2011, 05:54:59 pm »
***
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." A. de Saint-Exupéry

Offline PattheBunny

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #41 on: June 26, 2011, 08:29:14 pm »
Ahhh, it's perfect now!   

And TB I was just teasing you.  You get so careful sometimes -- I appreciate it completely, there are few enough chivalrous guys out there --  but it brings out my whiskers. :) 

Pat
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Offline rainwoman

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #42 on: June 26, 2011, 08:44:57 pm »
 :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." A. de Saint-Exupéry

Offline TB-AV

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #43 on: June 26, 2011, 11:59:58 pm »
Quote
And TB I was just teasing you.  You get so careful sometimes

Sorry, I thought I had pissed off yet another person.

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Offline rainwoman

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Re: Rainwoman's Collaboration Thread
« Reply #44 on: June 27, 2011, 12:14:35 am »
Quote
And TB I was just teasing you.  You get so careful sometimes

Sorry, I thought I had pissed off yet another person.

Charms of virtual communication...  ;)
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." A. de Saint-Exupéry

 

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