CZ, if you're playing with extra pressure in order to prevent buzz, it might be a good idea to experiment with action and neck relief. If the guit's set up right, you shouldn't need to kill your fingers like that.
BTW, what gauge strings are your using?
Detone: As for the grooves -- yeah, me too. Grooves on top of, and in spite of, calluses. As long as I'm playing the same thing over and over, I just ignore the grooves. Then after a while, it's time to play something different and the grooves get 'worked out' by the action of the new fingerings. Pressing needlessly hard can definitely make the problem worse; it's my bad habit to try and make the guitar co-operate through brute force rather than just playing it.