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Competition + Performance Area (Audio / Video of Your Playing) => Monthly Competition => Archives => Topic started by: ronik on July 20, 2017, 11:19:01 am

Title: 006 July - A Little Longer
Post by: ronik on July 20, 2017, 11:19:01 am
Hi everyone,
This is my first time writing here. I started playing guitar (and music generally) 2 ½ years ago, and this website has been one of my main resources for learning. My technical progress is pretty slow, but playing music brought great people into my life and more options for creativity.

This is a song I wrote a year ago. I recently decided to challenge myself to create a song recording in which I am playing all the instruments, I hope you like it, and am looking forward to feedback (feel free to make it harsh)

https://soundcloud.com/ronikay/a-little-longer-acoustic (https://soundcloud.com/ronikay/a-little-longer-acoustic)

In the track: acoustic guitar – chords; acoustic guitar – riff; bassline – played on acoustic and transposed 1 octave down; cajon drum; vocals.

Effects: normalize; noise reduction; transpose (for bassline).

Cheers,

Roni
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: DarrellW on July 20, 2017, 11:51:33 am
Ho Roni, very nice I like the vibe and good solid playing and singing - good luck with your first presentation :)
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: davidvac on July 20, 2017, 12:04:12 pm
Hi Roni

This is great. The song structure really hangs together and holds my attention all the way through. The strumming pattern goes well with the melody and fits with the story. And I love that you multitracked all the instruments. The Cakon really does give things a great rhythmic foundation.

If I may make one suggestion, the bass line seems to me a little "hot". It might be worth backing it off a bit and perhaps panning it off to one side.

Congratulations

David
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: DavidP on July 20, 2017, 03:39:51 pm
Roni,

What a great song ... really loved the sounds, the singing, the rhythms ... just great.  Certainly sounds like the work of an experienced song writer/composer.

And no reason to expect "harsh" feedback.  :)

I am still very much a novice when it comes to mixing, but I would suggest the following.

When I listen to this through my headphones each track feels like it is in the same position...all sounds centre ... right in between my ears in the middle of my head.  Which results in each instrument being a bit on top of each other.  And that makes it hard to fully appreciate the nuances.

I would suggest thinking about the position of each track, either centre or panned off to the left or right.  What seems like a fairly safe/usual approach is to keep the vocal, drum and bass dead centre and pan guitar riff to right and guitar chords left (and any other instruments).  But of course one is free to be creative.

The goal is to give more space for each track to be heard more easily, as if you were hearing the performance live off a stage unplugged.

Then I had to really concentrate to hear the lyrics clearly.  It may be that after panning, the lyric comes through more clearly.  If I were mixing I'd check closely on that and if not happy then consider lowering the levels of the instruments, perhaps just the bass (as David suggested) or bass and drum.  And if still not cutting through with punch then even the two guitar tracks.

If comments from the two Davids resonate then you can have a crack at re-mixing and dropping another version into the AVOYP or Music Critique areas ... rules of the contest are such that you can't update your entry.

And must say again, I think this is a cracking song!!

Cheers
David
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: close2u on July 20, 2017, 06:11:00 pm
Welcome to the forum Roni.
A great introduction to your music, your progress and your songwriting.
Well done.
Good vibes.
 :)
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: ronik on July 20, 2017, 06:17:54 pm
Thank you all, appreciate the kind words and the time you took to comment :) Will implement suggestions - love learning new stuff!
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: LievenDV on July 20, 2017, 06:41:08 pm
nice, a multitrack recording by 1 creative mind :)

great stuff; dare to use that voice of yours (higher, lower, louder, silent)
The groove wasn't always easy to follow. try to get that just a bit tighter and it will be easier to follow.

good job
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: embishop on July 20, 2017, 11:06:46 pm
I liked it a lot, it all comes together very nicely.
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: pkboo3 on July 21, 2017, 03:03:37 pm
Very nice. Loved the strumming rhythms and the added percussion.


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Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: redrhodie on July 21, 2017, 06:42:48 pm
Really nice! I'm very impressed, especially since you've only been playing 2.5 years. You're a natural.

Sent from my Life One X using Tapatalk

Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: kontenda on July 22, 2017, 03:50:55 pm
Great work -nice rhythm to the song. A lot of passion in the singing - really liked it.
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: john256 on July 22, 2017, 09:28:02 pm
Really nicely done. It has a classic female singer songwriter vibe to it... Not that you sound like Sheryl Crow but not a million miles away in feel.
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: Diresim on July 23, 2017, 01:12:35 am
Awesome stuff. Really like your song. :)
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: ronik on July 28, 2017, 09:58:45 am
Thanks thanks thanks  :)
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: Fox Cunning on July 28, 2017, 10:54:47 am
It's a real challenge to sing, play all instruments, and then mix it all by yourself.
You did a really good job, impressive!
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: Fourtwo on July 29, 2017, 02:02:05 am
Roni,
Astonishing effort for someone only playing for 2 and a bit years. Really well done. The multi tracking was good and fairly tight - I liked the harmony vocals. You might want to have a click track when you record your first track as I thought the timing drifted a little at times. I also agree with David that panning the various tracks left and right would help give the sound more depth, but that's not criticism, just something to think about in future.
All round good job and you have a like from me.
Neil
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: ronik on July 31, 2017, 03:38:56 pm
Thanks :) Btw I listened to your song and gave it a like, it is great!
Title: Re: 007 July - A Little Longer
Post by: justinguitar on August 02, 2017, 01:29:53 pm
Wish I'd been able to come up with something like this after just a couple of years playing!! Very well done.

Like the harmony vocals when they pop in - I'd experiment with that and make more of it... will really make the chorus stand out if you do

carefull with the gain levels on the vocal too, couple of peaks in there - better to record a touch quiter and bring it up later if needed.

and perhaps a bit of the song that chills out might help keep the listeners attention too. But great entry! :) well doen!



Title: Re: 006 July - A Little Longer
Post by: ronik on August 12, 2017, 07:18:47 pm
Thanks everybody, your comments are super valuable. I collected all the feedback and will polish the recording. Congrats to the winners, waiting to hear all of your songs in the next submission!
Title: Re: 006 July - A Little Longer
Post by: kennethjohnsonart on August 25, 2017, 07:29:44 pm
Well done!  Great song, great playing.  Very impressive, Thanks for sharing :)